Monday, 11 January 2010

Tesco announces plans for a store in every home

SUPERMARKET giant Tesco is to invest £300 billion in a major expansion plan which will see it build a mini-store attached to every home in Britain within the next five years.

The retailing superstar said it would add on one of its new Tesco Extension branded outlets to the rear of every house in the country, even those which contained poor people.

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Tesco checkout supervisor Mr Tumnus
Each unit, which will be the size of a large conservatory, will be erected overnight with the minimum of disruption to people's lives, and will be accessible from the family kitchen through the rear of the existing fridge.

Customers will pass through the fridge into their own private Tesco wonderland, stocked with a full range of essential grocery products including hot dog sausages, pork and leek sausages, and cumberland sausages.

Sir Terry Leahy, Tesco chief executive, said: "We wanted to bring back some of the magic and wonder of shopping for mums and their children. The new Tesco Extension stores will be the Narnia of the supermarket world."

However, it does not look as if Tesco is going to have it all its own way. Rival Sainsbury is already planning a fightback with its own Dr Who themed brand of individual home-based stores.

It is planning to attach a small police phone box to the rear of every British home, even those that already have a Tesco Extension.

Even though the Sainsbury store will be smaller on the outside than the rival Tesco outlet it will be bigger on the inside, the supermarket claimed, allowing it to stock an even greater variety of sausages.

In addition, Sainsbury said its stores will be able to travel through time thus ending forever the need to throw away food which has gone past its use-by date.

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